About The Manipulative Man: Reviews and More
Conventional wisdom says that women are the manipulative ones--but tell that to the thousands of desperate women suffering at the hands of a manipulative man. Men can be just as sneaky, passive-aggressive, needy, underhanded, whiny, guilt-inducing, and emotionally demanding as women are accused of being--and more so! As any woman in love with a manipulative man can tell you, it's not easy to get past his charm and your guilt to a place where you can see your relationship for what it is--out of balance, extraordinarily stressful, emotionally exhausting, and potentially dangerous. The Manipulative Man is a groundbreaking prescription for dealing with the manipulative men in your life by using: tests to help you determine if you are involved with a mama's boy, narcissist, sociopath, or even a psychopath; techniques for defining and setting boundaries with your man; tools to help you improve their relationship; and more! In The Manipulative Man, acclaimed psychotherapist Dr. Dorothy McCoy shows you how to identify the type of manipulative man you're involved with, deal with the issues his behavior provokes, and, ultimately, salvage the relationship--or move on.
Publishers Weekly Review
Did he promise you the stars and play you like a musical instrument? Then you know the manipulative man. Psychotherapist McCoy presents a chilling expose of ten types of manipulative men who prey on women's neediness and gullibility. This is not a feelgood book, yet it is compellingly readable. McCoy (The Ultimate Book of Personality Tests) is a police consultant, and her work may be what creates the grim undertone. She uses case studies from her counseling practice, blow-by-blow deconstructions of each type's manipulative techniques and tests to determine which type the reader may be dealing with. Most valuable are the chapters on narcissists and psychopaths. Thesepredators are the most dangerous because they can make themselves seem so appealing, flattering and fun at the beginning of a relationship. The author also has good advice for women involved with violent manipulators. In all cases, McCoy warns, "You do not know a manipulative man, he has worked diligently at spinning a web of contradictions, confusion and falsehoods." Wrapping up, McCoy offers advice for women seeking healthy relationships, noting that those who are self-confident are less likely to fall for the charmer's manipulative wiles.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Claudia Moscovici "literature salon"
While as Sandra Brown, M.A. explains in How to Spot a Dangerous Man, personality disorders are not fixable and relationships with such individuals are very dangerous and damaging, what do we do about the rest: namely, our relationships with 90 percent of the population, who, like us, has human flaws that can be worked on and improved? This is where Dorothy McCoy's book, The Manipulative Man: Identify His Behavior, Counter the Abuse, Regain Control, offers very useful coping strategies that can strengthen our ties to our significant others and mend our relationships.
McCoy first explains the manipulative personality types and his (or her) strategies of manipulation, which include: excessive flattery (especially at the beginning of the relationship), deceit, bullying, stonewalling, pity play, and projecting blame upon the victim, among others. She then offers a typology of manipulative men that women are likely to encounter and have problems with. These include: the Mama's Boy (characterized by dependency and need for caretaking and adulation); the Workaholic (who is a perfectionist, often suffers from Obsessive Personality Disorder and defines himself in terms of his work); the Eternal Jock (who relives his glory days and can't move on and deal with the responsibilities of his life); the Dependent Man (who can't make decisions and defines himself excessively in terms of his relationship to his partner, thus draining her time and energy); the Antisocial (who engages in risk-taking, transgressive and even criminal behavior, with no remorse, for the thrill of it); the Womanizer (who is often a love or sex addict, whose appetite for new conquests can never be satiated); the Passive-Aggressive man (who wallows in self-pity and constantly undermines his partner's self-esteem and accomplishments); the Narcissist (who essentially worships his own altar and views others as a mirror that reflects his perfection and greatness); the Psychopath (the social predator who charms his way into women's lives with flattery and deceit in order to use and harm them) and the Violent Manipulator (who engages in domestic violence).
The Manipulative Man explains each of these manipulative types by including not only descriptions, but also case studies that offer concrete examples and engage the reader. The book also offers coping strategies for such troubled relationships and outlines the difference between problematic traits and full-blown personality disorders. In other words, the author distinguishes between character deficiencies that can't be fixed--the best one can do in such situations is escape the relationship with minimal harm--and tendencies that may be able to be improved by working together, as a couple, on the relationship.
Even in those relationships that can be ameliorated, McCoy emphasizes that both partners have to be willing to make changes for the sake of their relationship and sustain those improvements consistently, over time. The Manipulative Man makes an important contribution to the field of couples' counseling and offers an excellent supplement to therapy. This book tells readers in a clear and entertaining manner how to save salvageable relationships while not shying away from advising not trying to save the unsalvageable relationships with personality disordered individuals.
Claudia Moscovici, psychopathyawareness