Announcement: Dr. McCoy Now Accepting Clients
If you would like to contact Dr. McCoy about treatment, please send your inquiry to firstname.lastname@example.org or call her office at 919-245-1034. Her specialities are PTSD, the anxiety disorders, depression, relationships, crime victims and stress management. She also treats women to help them move on after experiencing a relationship with a psychopath. You may order her relaxation/guided imagery CD by contacting her at the same email address or calling. We would love to help you.
Did he promise you the stars and play you like a musical instrument? Then you know the manipulative man. Psychotherapist McCoy presents a chilling expose of ten types of manipulative men who prey on women's neediness and gullibility. This is not a feel good book, yet it is compellingly readable. McCoy (The Ultimate Book of Personality Tests) is a police consultant, and her work may be what creates the grim undertone. She uses case studies from her counseling practice, blow-by-blow deconstructions of each type's manipulative techniques and tests to determine which type the reader may be dealing with. Most valuable are the chapters on narcissists and psychopaths. These predators are the most dangerous because they can make themselves seem so appealing, flattering and fun at the beginning of a relationship. The author also has good advice for women involved with violent manipulators. In all cases, McCoy warns, "You do not know a manipulative man, he has worked diligently at spinning a web of contradictions, confusion and falsehoods." Wrapping up, McCoy offers advice for women seeking healthy relationships, noting that those who are self-confident are less likely to fall for the charmer's manipulative wiles. Copyright Reed Business Information, all rights reserved. Publishers Weekly Review
Dr. Dorothy McCoy
Dr. Dorothy McCoy
Dr Dorothy's take in 'The
Manipulative Man' is a compelling
read. The tests are simple but effective
the techniques she users are an eye opener
to the layman or woman and the tools
she gives to improve relationships are
enlightening! Well done Dr D! Long
may the books be available and you be in
practice to help where help is so desperately needed.
Carol and Bob Bridgestock
Authors of The Deadly Focus Series
Manipulative individuals say and do things to control and undermine others. In its extreme form, manipulation is a form of emotional abuse. The Manipulative Man by Dorothy McCoy, EdD, is essential reading for everyone who wishes to work on problematic relationships with flawed, manipulative individuals who are not full-fledged personality disordered. All human beings are flawed yet most of us still manage to have close relationships with our family members and romantic partners. Many have tendencies of personality disorders; few have full-blown personality disorders, however.
While as Sandra Brown, M.A. explains in How to Spot a Dangerous Man, personality disorders are not fixable and relationships with such individuals are very dangerous and damaging, what do we do about the rest: namely, our relationships with 90 percent of the population, who, like us, has human flaws that can be worked on and improved? This is where Dorothy McCoy's book, The Manipulative Man: Identify His Behavior, Counter the Abuse, Regain Control, offers very useful coping strategies that can strengthen our ties to our significant others and mend our relationships.
McCoy first explains the manipulative personality types and his (or her) strategies of manipulation, which include: excessive flattery (especially at the beginning of the relationship), deceit, bullying, stonewalling, pity play, and projecting blame upon the victim, among others. She then offers a typology of manipulative men that women are likely to encounter and have problems with. These include: the Mama's Boy (characterized by dependency and need for caretaking and adulation); the Workaholic (who is a perfectionist, often suffers from Obsessive Personality Disorder and defines himself in terms of his work); the Eternal Jock (who relives his glory days and can't move on and deal with the responsibilities of his life); the Dependent Man (who can't make decisions and defines himself excessively in terms of his relationship to his partner, thus draining her time and energy); the Antisocial (who engages in risk-taking, transgressive and even criminal behavior, with no remorse, for the thrill of it); the Womanizer (who is often a love or sex addict, whose appetite for new conquests can never be satiated); the Passive-Aggressive man (who wallows in self-pity and constantly undermines his partner's self-esteem and accomplishments); the Narcissist (who essentially worships his own altar and views others as a mirror that reflects his perfection and greatness); the Psychopath (the social predator who charms his way into women's lives with flattery and deceit in order to use and harm them) and the Violent Manipulator (who engages in domestic violence).
The Manipulative Man explains each of these manipulative types by including not only descriptions, but also case studies that offer concrete examples and engage the reader. The book also offers coping strategies for such troubled relationships and outlines the difference between problematic traits and full-blown personality disorders. In other words, the author distinguishes between character deficiencies that can't be fixed--the best one can do in such situations is escape the relationship with minimal harm--and tendencies that may be able to be improved by working together, as a couple, on the relationship.
Even in those relationships that can be ameliorated, McCoy emphasizes that both partners have to be willing to make changes for the sake of their relationship and sustain those improvements consistently, over time. The Manipulative Man makes an important contribution to the field of couples' counseling and offers an excellent supplement to therapy. This book tells readers in a clear and entertaining manner how to save salvageable relationships while not shying away from advising not trying to save the unsalvageable relationships with personality disordered individuals.
Claudia Moscovici, psychopathyawareness